BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby Funkmonkey » Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:40 am

DONNIEP wrote:Dude I'd pay the money to get into a full size X Wing with a working fully instrumented cockpit. They should have it sitting there, hooked up like its being pre flighted with some smoke coming out of it like its being loaded with lights hydrogen and liquid oxygen and stuff and it having an internal engine noise you can hear and that vibrates the entire ship, like the engines are warming up. That would be awesome! You'd get to strap on a helmet and hit the canopy switch to close it and inside your helmet you'd hear the flight controllers giving out orders and responses from the other pilots.

Disney seriously should hire me as a consultant. I'd make Star Wars Land have every cool thing you can imagine. All of it would be geared at grown up kids like me. And the young people would love it too.


I'm with you on that. But it's you and 436,351 other people trying to get into that same blessed X-Wing that same day. I see youtube video logs of people with season passes just walking into the parks like everything is wonderful, hardly anyone is there, just walking up to attractions, and having a good ol' time.

Bullshit!

Someone needs to share the magic sauce with me, because every time I've ever been to a Disney park it is wall-to-wall people. You can't walk anywhere in the park. I have pictures. You can't step forward without running into someone. You can't step backwards without getting run over. Sideways? Forget it. Even a displayed 2 hour wait time for the new Seven Dwarfs roller coaster.

That X-Wing will require reservations a year ahead of time. Then you wait 2 hours in line with all the people in that same reservation lot. You just wait, that's going to happen. But for $500 more, you can go right to the head of the line... ... with the other 500 people who paid $500 to be special to go to the head of the line.

F-me.


:roll:
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:34 pm

I haven't been to Disney in 4 years. But we went every year for 9 years straight and I never had problems with lines aside from Mt Everest. Amd we usually went in April when a ton of people were there. Sure it was crowded but it was never so bad we didn't have fun. You gots to know the layout of the park, what all you want to do and then you work the Fast Passes so you don't have to wait as long. But if they have super paid for fast passes now I'd get those too.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby Funkmonkey » Mon Oct 19, 2015 2:52 pm

Then I need to learn the special sauce. I've been burned every time I've gone. I'm really down on Disney parks right now. I love what they're about, but hate what they've become.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 5:41 pm

Nah man - maybe I'm just lucky. But you have to be prepared to deal with the crowds. Now I'm sure you're not one of these people, but a lot of people wander around aimlessly or stare at their maps or whatever. When I'm there every day is a mission. A quest. A quest for fun, to quote Clark Griswald. So I stay on the grounds in a value resort, get up early and eat at the food court (which has really good counter service style food and lots of choices), eat and hit whichever park is opening early that day for guests staying on the grounds. Then the quest begins and I can get from one end of a park to the other in record time. It's just knowing where to go when you start out in the morning. For example, at Epcot you gotta get there as early as possible, go in and rush like a maniac to Mission Space and do that. Then run over to Test Track and hit that. Then fuck off and take w break in that dinosaur/energy/homo Ellen show thing, then just keep on moving.

Magic Kingdom? Do the Swiss Family Robinson tree house, if you want to, it's near the Tiki Birds, then POTC,Haunted Mansion, and then the Little Mermaid and on until you get over to Tomorrow Land and on and on.

Hollywood Studios? Early is the key - Star Tours first, then The Great Movie Ride and now the Indiana Jones Stunt Show is open so you hit that. And on and on until you do the Back Lot Tour and then the car stunt show, can't remember the name. Now it's parade time and you hit all the little shops then or take your fast pass to Rockin Rollercoaster or Hollywood Tower of Terror. Now you probably won't have passes for both so you will stand in line for one. The line is always longer at Rockin Rollercoaster so fast pass that motherfucker and hit the Tower first. Plus you want to do the Tower when the sun is starting to set because it just looks fuckin awesome to look out over the park at that time of day. And on and on. And if it's a nite they kick everybody out except park guests then you haul ass to Star Tours And ride that bitch 3 or 4 times because it randomly changes the adventure you go on.

Animal Kingdom - early early early! That is a smaller park and the avenues are narrow so it fills up quick. Fast Pass either Mt Everest or that dinosaur time travel ride. Then go wait in line at the other when those are done hit It's A Bug's Life to cool off and chill. Then haul ass outta there and do the Safari ride. That's pretty cool and eats up time. Then get the fuck outta there and hit one of the other parks and catch anything you've missed.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 5:56 pm

Now, another thing that's mission critical - snacks. No shit, take snacks with you in your backpack or fag bag or whatever. Stuff that won't melt like packs of crackers and granola bars and shit like that. And a couple bottles of water so long as you can swig down hot water. Why? Remember when I said go to the food court for breakfast? Yeah there's a reason why. Load up on a real breakfast - not some cereal and a banana. Get some real man food and make sure everybody with you eats a good breakfast! Why? Cause we ain't stopping for lunch - that's what the snacks are for. Around noon or so you break out the snacks, refueling just enough to get you to 3 or so. Then somewhere around there you eat a meal, unless you can hold out til later. So break then for a meal, then hit the damn ground running.

Now the dining plan is also mission critical. How? Well it saves you money first off. Second it gives you two quick service meals per day - use one for breakfast and one for either your late lunch OR on the days you want a nice slower paced sit down afternoon meal you save your second meal because you're gonna be hungry later that evening. So that nite when you get back to the room - unless you stay at the park really late - you hit the food court for a giant nacho platter or whatever. And don't waste the snacks you have as part of your dining plan on ice cream and shit like that all the time. Bottled waters man. Me and my kid alternate between bottled waters and a soda we can split. Again - it's gonna get hot quick so get something a couple of you can split.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 6:02 pm

So it's the end of the day, 7 pm or so, and you're gonna be beat. Do you stick around for the stupid ass parades and the killer fireworks? I'd say do the fireworks one nite and a parade one nite if you really love standing in one spot forever surrounded by a gazillion people. Me, we head back to the resort for some pool time or my favorite - beer time! And that brings us to another very important part of your planning - bring beer. No shit. They do sell it by the six pack at the resorts, very limited selection and it's high as camel cock. So bring lots of beer. And a cooler to ice it down with every day. Cases are your friend but if you're gonna be out at the pool I'd suggest tossing in 20 or so 16 ounce cans so it ain't so obvious when you're getting up to toss out the empties. Anything more than a 16 ouncer at the pool will get you the stink eye so drink those down there and then finish up with the 12 ouncers back at the room.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 6:25 pm

The key is time management and something I learned as an Army SEAL/Comabt Bravo Charlie Unit back in 'Nam - shoot move and communicate. See, all those people at the park, well they're like the Talicong we used to fight in 'Nam. You can't trust any of them and you gotta move quick and communicate with your team. Don't stop to help their children - it's a trap! And don't talk to them - they're the enemy. Every single damn one is as much an enemy as the Talicong, only they probably don't have AK-747s.

Now, another group to avoid are A-Rabs. I know, some of them look like people from other places, like Freddie Mercury. But I learned how to spot them in the deserts of 'Nam fighting the Talicong. See, these Disney 'rabs the men and boys will be dressed in normal western clothes - shorts and t shirts, that's how the Talicong operates - they sneak in and infiltrate. Now, these 'rabs at Disney are not terrorist but are extremely dangerous. See, a lot of them make their womarns wear a big sheet that covers them up, daughters too. And they ain't used to the humidity. So you cut in front of a pissed off mother wearing a set of heavy black curtains all day and she's liable to hit you or yell at you in that scary language they talk. And that's when you jump into Condition Red and get the hell out of the line for It's A Small World. Your instincts might cause you to freeze up - but this is the moment you've trained for all year and your training will save your life. So haul ass and go get a frozen banana for a snack - the Talicong hate anything frozen - it's against their religion.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 8:13 pm

Funk!!! There's a bb-8 builder's club online building full size bb-8s!!!
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby Funkmonkey » Mon Oct 19, 2015 8:41 pm

DONNIEP wrote:The key is time management and something I learned as an Army SEAL/Comabt Bravo Charlie Unit back in 'Nam - shoot move and communicate. See, all those people at the park, well they're like the Talicong we used to fight in 'Nam. You can't trust any of them and you gotta move quick and communicate with your team. Don't stop to help their children - it's a trap! And don't talk to them - they're the enemy. Every single damn one is as much an enemy as the Talicong, only they probably don't have AK-747s.


Classic!!!

:laughing-rofl:

Hot damn, that's funny! Next time I go, I'm going in as Bravo Charlie Unit! Ain't 'fraid of no AK-747s.
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Re: BB-8 Droid - This Is About As Close As It Gets

Postby DONNIEP » Mon Oct 19, 2015 8:42 pm

And when you read those posts imagine them in Carl's voice from Caddyshack
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